Tuesday, July 30, 2013

not your thoughts

I nearly laughed out loud at the market today while admiring beautiful handcrafted silk banners printed with bible verses. Flipping through the banners on display, a bright teal banner caught my eye. It was printed in English & Khmer with Isaiah 55:8 & 9:

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways." declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."

If any scripture could summarize this journey to Cambodia, that would be it. The Lord told me to come, and I came. Riding in our Tuk Tuk this afternoon with Noelle & Gretchen, I confessed that I still do not understand why the Lord brought me here. That reality frustrates me, but the awesome things is this: it doesn't matter. Because the Lord's thoughts are not mine. His ways are so far beyond what I can see, or know, or understand. And as much and as often that frustrates me, it is good. The Lord is good. And He has ben breaking down what I thought I understood about loving him & serving him. He has leveled what I thought I knew about loving Jesus and loving people. And that is so very good. And the best part? He's beginning to rebuild it. More to come on that later.

It's hard to believe only a week remains of my time in Cambodia. These last three weeks have been wonderful, challenging, exhausting, tearful, encouraging, difficult & restful by turns. Most of my working hours are spent at Punlok Thmey, HPC's boys center. PT is near the riverfront, a block or two over from Phnom Penh's red light district. The boys are a handful and so wonderful. It's a joy to see their smiling faces each day as they tumble over each other coming through the front door. As HPC prepares to open a girls center this fall, we have been able to hold a girls class at the boys center. Anywhere from five to fifteen girls come monday through thursday for a couple hours in the morning. We have small classroom where Gretchen & Noelle teach the girls english, make crafts that reflect their english lesson, color & paint pictures, and learn about Jesus. Last week, I was able to help out with the girls class a few days. What a gift! The girls are fantastic and HPC is looking forward with great anticipation to opening a center just for girls this year.

The days here have very little routine, at least for me. This has been a struggle in the sense that I feel more productive with a routine. The Lord has been teaching me alot about usefulness and how I perceive the value of my time and energy. Many days, I feel as though I have done nothing, invested nothing, loved no one. But feelings are deceptive. The truth is, each day has been worthwhile. Even if all I do is be present to help a staffer, or to encourage them, the day is well spent. The Khmer (Cambodian) staff at HPC work very hard and I am encouraged so much from working alongside them, seeing their love for the Lord and their willingness to invest in the kids at the center. Their work is exhausting; physically, mentally, & spiritually. To be immersed each day in teaching kids, investing in them, knowing all the time that they are going home in the evening to possibly be sold for sex, is overwhelming. It has been for me, and i've only worked here for three weeks. The staff have such compassionate hearts and deal with such darkness on a day to day basis. I am amazed by their dedication and I am deeply encouraged by them. Each work day here, we see smiling faces & bright eyes. Many of those same smiling faces are exploited. Frequently. And still the Lord is good.

Though it has only been three weeks, I feel as though I have been in Cambodia much longer. The house of interns & staff have made me feel welcomed and part of the "family" from day one. I will sorely miss them when I return to the states. Am I ready to come home? I am home. Remarkable, isn't it, how you can suddenly come home in the most unexpected places. Here in Phnom Penh, very little is familiar to my western life experience. The commute to work is by Tuk-Tuk, the streets are flooded with motorbikes, anything can be bought at the market instead of a store, and the river by my house smells like rotting garbage. Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore! Yet, here in the heat & the dirt, the sunshine & the narrow streets, and frequent downpours, I've come home. Though it's only for a short season, my soul is refreshed to belong somewhere. In the midst of the craziest, busiest, most packed summer of my life, the swirling waters of change have calmed for these few weeks.

While I'm here, allow me to introduce to you my awesome HPC family (some of them anyway!). My first weekend in Phnom Penh the interns (minus one) and our house papa, Derek, went to a photo studio and took family photos in traditional Khmer fancy dress (well, wedding clothes if we're being precise).

Intern family! Ben, Me, Derek, Noelle, Josh, & Gretchen!


I love these guys & gals. They love Jesus, they love people, and they are deeply passionate about ending sex trafficking. So blessed by these amazing men & women!


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