lay it down

Last year, a dear friend handed me a beautiful handcrafted card with 1 John 3:16 written on the front.

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. (1 john 3:16)


Sounds great, right? Lay down your life for your friends and they will lay down their lives for you, right? Wrong. Jesus never promised our friends would lay down their live in return. He just command us to lay ours down. Not because we get loved back, not because they will get down in the mud to help us up. Just love them. Lay down your life. Every day, no exceptions. Because it is good, it brings glory to God. And it is beautiful.

I believed I knew the cost of giving my life to Christ, that I understood how to lay down my life for my friends...turns out, I had no idea. Several weeks ago, God asked me to do the one thing I had promised myself I never would and with tears of frustration and pain running down my face, I asked my roommate Ally how much more he was going to ask of me, how much of me was me going to take? Her response? "All of it." She was right (she always is). Every day, he asks me to lay down my life. A little more of my pride, more of my selfishness, more of my trust. He wants it all and i'm slowly giving ground. But I do not give it easily or with a purity of heart or willingness of spirit.

I am selfish and independent to a fault. This makes following Christ difficult. It creates war in my soul. I give up a little bit more of myself each day, but not until i've fought for it. I fight because it hurts to let go of my pride and my selfishness and my independence. But I must. I have to lay down my life because it is right, because it is good. I do not want to, but Jesus said it does not matter. Do it anyway. The last few days He has clearly (and repeatedly) told me, "Just be okay with it" I don't have to like it, but I have to accept it, to be okay with it.

Jesus said, My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command....You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit--fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other. (john 15:12-14, 16&17)


Did you catch that? He said it twice: Love each other. He didn't say to love because we'd be loved in return, he didn't say to lay our lives down for our friends because they would do the same for us. There is no promise that the loving will be easy or fun or instantly gratifying. Jesus commands us to love. because He chose us and appointed us to love in His name. So maybe it's alright if I don't want to, so long as I do as he commands. Maybe it's alright if i'm not willing, so long as i'm simply okay with it. Maybe it's about obedience, not about my feelings.

I want to be willing, to love my brothers & sisters when the opportunity arises. But right now, it is often a struggle. Now don't get me wrong, I love to love on my brothers and sisters. Most of the time it is easy. I desire to love them, to encourage them. And they love & encourage me in return. But not always. And this is the lesson I am learning. That I still must chose to love them, even when it does not seem to matter. Even when my choice to be loving towards them is ignored, or misconstrued, or un-accepted, or looked on with suspicion. It is more important to obey than to be loved back.

This is my command: Love each other.


It's not about how you feel, it's about how you choose to act.

We ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.


Every day is a choice.

This is my command: Love each other.


What will you choose?